SelfHelpMe


How to Make It To Your One-Year Anniversary

Posted in self help by Steph Auteri on May 14, 2008
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wedding photo.

I’ve already written about the difficulties in making a relationship last. (It’s hard.)

As mine and Michael’s one-year wedding anniversary approaches, however, it occurs to me that just making it 365 days, let alone forever, can be a long shot.

Heck, I’m surprised I made it through the first month. The months following only humbled me more.

Which brings us to Peter Scott’s There’s a Spouse In My House: A Humorous Journey Through the First Years of Marriage.

More entertaining than I had expected, Scott’s humorous “how-to” pinpoints the realities of first marriage in a way that will make you wonder if you’re being secretly videotaped.

After the jump, a number of the topics Scott touched upon, and how they scarily relate to my life with Michael:

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How to Balance Intimacy with Eroticism

Posted in self help by Steph Auteri on March 5, 2008
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unhappy couple.

So is it even possible to keep erotic excitement alive in a long-term relationship? When the person you love is as familiar to you as that old, ratty pillow your mother sewed for you back in your toddler years, how can you possibly get excited about him or her anymore? Is this slide into affection and deeper intimacy a form of a more mature love, signaling the end of a youthful passion that was bound to end eventually?

This might be TMI, but I’ve been struggling with a low libido for the past few years.

If this is TMI, I’m giving you the chance to bow out now.

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The Infinite Wisdom of Others: How to Create Your Own Traditions

Posted in self help by Steph Auteri on February 19, 2008
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laptop.

I know. I know. Since I started blogging for the Modern Materialist, my posting habits have become even more erratic. As in nonexistent. I’m still trying to get the hang of this pro blogging thing, and am even considering seeking out help from the master himself.

I have to admit that, though my regular proofreading gig in the city is a nice, relaxing way to bring in some money, I get frustrated by how much the commuting time cuts in to my at-home writing time. Should I work longer at-home hours? Should I broach the topic of telecommuting? Should I wait it out until things change (as they inevitably do)?

Eh, this is all the subject of another post. Mostly, I just want to say that I’m sorry for being so inconsistent. I’m still searching for that ideal brand of time management.

In other infinite wisdom-type, news, Gretchen has posted on the positive effects of creating your own traditions, which led me to muse upon my own desire to create new traditions with my husband. At the moment, and with less than a year of marriage under our belts, we’ve been mostly riding on the coattails of our families’ holiday traditions, but we’ve been attempting to create new ones of our own. Sadly, pizza Fridays were short-lived, as were sushi Sundays (our fave sushi bar is closed on Sundays), and date night has been on-and-off, but we do attend Santacon every year since he proposed to me there our first year.

Aside from giving us something to do, traditions give us the satisfaction of having something that is completely ours. And as new marriage is something that sometimes seems surreal, it helps to have something ongoing to remind us that this is real, and that we’re in it for the long haul, and that we share a lot more than just a bed and a bathroom.

How about y’all? Have you and your Someone Special started up any new traditions that are All Yours? I’d love to hear what you’ve come up with. Maybe it’ll give us some new ideas!